Overcoming Frustration - How To Handle Frustration Properly
Updated: Dec 26, 2020
Frustration is inevitable.
You’ll encounter frustrations in all aspects of life at some point or another – whether it be in your career, with your health, relationships, or even overall happiness.
But just like with everything else, it's not about what gets thrown your way – its about how you handle what gets thrown your way.
Your reaction will ultimately determine if things get better or worse.
This is why it is so important to know how to correctly handle frustrations and actually work them into your advantage.
Today I am going to teach you how to flip frustration on its head.
I will be giving you a proven, and powerful process you can use to turn all your frustrations into an exciting action plan and future you can look forward to.
Whenever you are frustrated about something, no matter how big or small – I want you to use this process. It has never failed me.
Handling Frustration The Wrong Way:
When frustration hits, most people handle it wrong.
They dwell on their frustrations, complain, and fail to ever truly understand the frustration at the root level, let alone take action towards it.
In doing so – they often let their frustrations spiral out of control, and create bigger problems.
They adopt a fixed mindset, and assume things are the way they are and they can’t change.
They complain and dwell, and complain some more.
This doesn’t help anything though.
When you’re frustrated you are operating on an emotional level, rather than a logical level.
You’ll probably being feeling all kinds of emotions, and not know what is at the root of these feelings, or what is causing it all.
Rather than sitting around and dwelling on it (as most people do) - you must learn to instead rationalize your way to the solution.
It is out there – you just need to discover it.
The process I’ve created will do this for you.
This process is designed to help you:
· understand your problems
· identify the roots of those problems
· discover the solutions
· Identify the action-plan
The Pro-active Approach (7 Step Process):
Grab a journal.
Write down 7 headings with a solid amount of space under each, as follows:
(1) Problem Analysis
(2) Root Analysis
(3) Onus of Each Problem
(4) Categories of Roots
(5) Solution Generation
(6) Solution Analysis
(7) Timeline + Action Plan
This is the 7 step formula that will enable you to first better understand your frustrations, get to their roots, and then turn them into actionable solutions that you can truly get behind and be excited for.
1. Problem Analysis:
The purpose of this is to take note of all of the problems, frustrations, at hand that are causing your frustration. Get all your cards on the table. During this first step, your emotions might be scattered and you won’t know the root of things – so this is the first step in untangling this problem.
This will ensure you cover all of your bases later on.
Write down all problems you’re currently facing that are causing your frustration. No matter how big or small they are, just get it all out there till you have no other problems relating to your frustration.
2. Root Analysis:
The purpose of this is to get to the bottom of your problems. Understand what problem is most important to be solved.
Without understanding the root of your problems, you wont be able to find the right solution. This step will help you get to the root of things, and understand which root problem(s) are triggering your frustrations.
Determine which problem(s) you identified in step 1, that if it were solved, would fix the other frustrations you’re feeling. That problem will be the root.
3. Categorizing Roots:
If you have multiple root problems, then you will need to categorize them so that all of the problems you identified in step 1 can be put into specific categories based off of different roots.
Simply categorize your problems identified in step 1 into categories based off of the roots you identified in step 2.
4. Identify Onus of Each Root Problem:
The purpose of this is to understand if this root problem is under your control (which is ideal) or someone else’s control (which will require collaboration). Accountability is huge, oftentimes we blame our own problems on other people – when the problem is often actually under our complete control and it is our responsibility to untangle it, no one elses.
Problems under your control will simply require your own time, effort, and action. Problems involving someone else will require your time, effort and collaboration with that person.
Simply identify if each root problem is under your control, or someone else’s control.
5. Solution Generation:
The purpose of this is to generate solutions to each root problem. In order to solve the frustration, you must have a destination or desired future state you want to get to and be able to identify it.
This is where you get to flip the frustration on its head and identify the solution that will solve your frustrations.
Simply identify what would need to happen in order to solve each root problem. Solutions with an onus purely on yourself, will only require your own time and effort. Solutions with an onus shared with someone else, will require time, effort, and collaboration with that person.
6. Solution Analysis:
The purpose of this is to ensure your solution(s) lineup and solve each of your frustrations identified in step 1.
This ensures you cover all of your bases and are correctly solving your frustrations.
Write down the benefits that would arise from each solution and what they would now enable you to do that you couldn’t do before. Ensure that these solve each frustration identified in step 1.
7. Timeline & Action Plan:
Arguably the most important step. Without action, your frustrations and problems will remain frustrations and problems. You must create an action plan and take action towards it in order to make your solutions a reality – thus solving your frustration.
The purpose of this is to put it into action and identify a timeline. Identifying a timeline will determine the urgency behind your actions (e.g. when you are aiming to implement your solutions by), and creating an action plan will show you the next steps you need to take in order to bring it to life.
For each solution, identify the timeline - this will give you an idea of when you must get things done by.
For each solution also identify the actionable steps you must take next in order to make your solution happen.
Then go ahead and take action.